Please note: NOT all products are included in happy hour so please ask at the bar for more details
HAPPY HOUR COCKTAILS - 2 of the same cocktails for £10, from 4pm—9pm
From 4pm — 9pm, SUNDAY-FRIDAY
3pm-8pm in West End Venues
2 For 1 on all Cocktails
Spirit and Mixer £2.50
Bottles of Beer £3.00
Glasses of Wine £3.00
Double Spirit & Mixer £5.00
Bottles of Wine £12.00
Cocktail Teapots £15.00
Shot Bats (6 Shots) £20.00
Bottles of Prosecco £20.00
From 4pm — 9pm, SATURDAY
2 For 1 on all Cocktails
Cocktail Teapots £15.00
Sex With a Lad 9.50
Smirnoff Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Cranberry Juice & Orange Juice. Shaken HARD and served LONG.....LONG like a lad.
Espresso Martini 10.50
Ketel One Vodka, Kahlua Coffee Liqueur, Sugar Syrup, Fresh Coffee. It's bean said this is the best cocktail in the world.
Pornstar Martini 11.00
Smirnoff Vanilla Vodka, Passionfruit Liqueur, Passionfruitsyrup & Passionfruit Puree with a shot of Prosecco. Melons, bangers, whoppers and baps are all a cheeky words for what? That's right....Things you can eat!
Last Mango In Paris 10.50
Ciroc Mango Vodka, Orange Liqueur, Mango, Cranberry & Lime. People, if he can't enjoy your fruity jokes, you've gotta let that mango.
Woo Woo 9.20
Smirnoff Vodka, Peach Schnapps topped with Cranberry Juice. So good they named it twice! Woop woooop!
Gummy Bear 10.00
Smirnoff Vodka, Melon Liqueur, Peach Schnapps, Apple, Cranberry Juice, & Gummy Bears! What do you call a bear with no teeth? It depends what it's name is.
Lychee Mar-Tea-Ni 10.00
Gordon's Gin, Lemon Juice, Lychee Juice, Raspberry Liqueur & Sugar Syrup! Served in a tea cup with a cute little rose bud! Lychee wally wally, lychee bang bang!
Garden Fizz 10.80
Beefeater Pink Gin, Cucumber, Lemon Juice, Elderflower Syrup & Soda Water. You don’t even gnome me, you say that I’m not digging riiiight!
Strawberry Moon 11.00
Bombay Sapphire Gin, Cointreau, Strawberry Liqueur & Puree, Lemon Juice, Soda, Sugar Syrup, Mint, Absinthe Spray & a Strawberry Belt! How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
Negroni 11.20
Tanqueray Gin, (Upgrade to Tanqueray 10 for + £2), Martini Rosso & Campari. One part of each = three parts of delicious. Garnished with a lil’ orange peel!
Singapore Swing 11.50
Hoxton Tropical Gin, Beefeater Pink Gin, Triple Sec, Luxardo Cherry Liqueur, Sugar Syrup, Lemon Juice, Pineapple Juice & Orange Bitters. I think it was a mistake to go to that swingers party last night…I don’t know what came over me…
Gintendo 64 9.80
Gordon's Gin, Peach Schnapps, Apple Juice, Rhubard & Lemon. Remember: When it stops working, pull it out, blow on it and put it back in...
Strawberry Daiquiri 9.80
Captain Morgan’s White Rum, Strawberry Liqueur, Lemon Juice & Strawberry Syrup! How do you fix a strawberry? With a strawberry patch…
Mojito 10.50
Captain Morgan’s White Rum, Fresh Lime, Mint, Sugar Syrup & a Dash of Soda. I, I, I, I, love you from my head to Moji-toes…trust me…it’s mint!
Zombie 14.50
Havana 3 Year Rum, Bacardi Spiced Rum, Cointreau, Apricot Brandy, Pineapple, Orange, Lime, Grenadine, Wray & Nephew Overproof Rum & an Absinthe Spray. Dead Strong, Dead Good.
Blackberry Rumble 10.00
Dark Rum, Hazelnut Liqueur, Blackberry Liqueur, Pineapple & Cranberry. In the left corner we have our blackberry, in the right corner we have our hazelnut! let's get ready to ruuuuuuumble
Banana Colada 10.80
Captain Moorgan's white rum, Wray & Nephew Overproof Rum, Banana Liqueur, Fresh Banana, Pineapple & Coconut. If you go bananas for pina coladas, then this will really a-peel to you.
Whiskey Business 10.2
Jim Beam Bourbon, Raspberry Liqueur, Cranberry Juice, Lemon Juice & Grenadine. We thought about starting a bourbon distillery but decided it was way too whiskey, instead we created this drink.
Peach Julep 10.5
Jim Beam Bourbon, Peach Schnapps, Mint Sprigs & Sugar Syrup. Peach for the staaaars! Climb every Julep higher, peach for the staaarrs, follow your heart’s desire…and order this.
Penicillin 11.5
Famous Grouse Whiskey, (upgrade to Toki for £4), Ginger Syrup, Agave, Lemon Juice & Laphroaig spray. A miracle of modern medicine! Treats all your ailments! Buy now from your friendly local Simmons!
Greek Street Hold-up 10.50
Jack Daniels Whiskey, Aperol, Pineapple, Lime & Passionfruit. Hold up, heeeeeeey! Are you ready for the next episooooode? Take a seeeeeeat!
Old Fashioned 11.00
Buffalo Trace Bourbon, (Upgrade to Sazerac Rye for £4), a Dash of Bitters, Sugar Syrup and a zesty orange peel! Call me Old Fashioned but I really do love a good bit of Bourbon.
Tommy's Margarita 10.80
El Jimador Tequila, Fresh Lime & Agave Syrup! Get on your way to Margaritaville and find your lost shaker of salt by drinking this drink.
Tequila Sunrise 9.5
Jose Cuervo Tequila, Triple Sec, Orange Juice & Strawberry Syrup. Wakey, wakey, rise and lime, drink this drink and you’ll feel fine!
Spicy Margarita 10.80
El Jimador Tequila, Orange Liqueur, Lime, Spicy Bitters, Coriander & Jalapeños! Every boy and every girl, spice up your life!
Paloma 11.50
Patron Silver Tequila, Pink Grapefruit, Lime, Grapefruit Sode & a Pinch of Salt. Lovely dovely, (Paloma is Dove in Spanish, you're welcome)
The Ginger Rita 10.20
El Jimador Tequila, Amaretto, Lime, Vanilla, Ginger & Spicy Orange Bitters! Do the curtains match the drapes? I certainly hope so!
Paloma Cerveza 11.00
Patron Tequila, Lime Juice, Pink Grapefruit, Salt & a Topping of Beer. Raise a cerveza and drink with your face-a!
Long Island Iced Tea 10.80
Smirnoff Vodka, Gordon’s Gin, Captain Morgan’s White Rum, Jose Cuervo Tequila, Triple Sec, Diet Cola, Lemon Juice & Sugar Syrup. Awwww, this reminds us of Sunday afternoons, going round your nan’s for a nice cup of tea…tea full of booze.
Courvossi-bop 10.50
Courvoisier Brandy, Apricot Brandy, Apple Juice, Lime Juice, Strawberry Syrup & a Strawberry Belt! Created by Nathaniel…he don’t dab, her just Vossi Bops.
Bloody Mary 10.00
Smirnoff Vodka, Bloody Bens Spice Mix, Tomato & Lemon. As close as you'll ever get to a juice cleanse in Simmons. In the mood for maria instead or mary? Upgrade to El Jimador Tequila for £1.
Aperol Spritz 10.80
Aperol Bitter Aperitif (Double Measure), Prosecco & Soda Water. They see me Aperollin’, they hatin’, they dryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty…
Amaretto Sour 9.20
Luxardo Amaretto, Lemon Juice, Sugar Syrup & Orange Bitters. “Hey! Sour you doing today?” “Going good, but about to get bitter!”
Spiced Painkiller 11.50
Bacardi Spiced Rum, Coconut Syrup, Orange Juice, Pineapple Juice & Nutmeg. Bad medical puns are hard to stomach, but this drink’s delicious.
Virgins
Grapefruit Sour £9.00
Everleaf Marine Non-Alcoholic Aperitif, Pink Grapefruit Syrup, Lemon Juice & a Pinch of Salt
Tina Colada 6.50
Pineapple Juice, Coconut Syrup & Fresh Lime
Tiki Mojito £6.50
Mint, Lime Juice, Pineapple Juice, Almond Syrup & Ginger Ale!
Dry Hump on the Beach 6.50
Pineapple Juice, Passionfruit Puree with a dash of Passionfruit Syrup.
Virgin Mary 6.00
Bens Bloody Mary Spice Mix, Tomato & Lemon
Sharers
Sex With a Teapot £27.00
(3-4 people sharing) Smirnoff Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Orange Juice, Cranberry Juice.
Long Island Iced Teapot £29.00
(3-4 people sharing) Smirnoff Vodka, Gordon's Gin, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Jose Cuervo Tequila, Triple Sec, Lemon Juice, Sugar Syrup & Diet Cola.
Hold up Teapot £29.00
(3-4 people sharing) Jack Daniels, Aperol, Passionfruit, Pineapple & Lime
Blackberry Rumble Pot £28.00
(3-4 People Sharing) Dark Rum, Hazelnut Liqueur, Blackberry Liqueur, Cranberry & Pineapple.
Banana Colada Teapot 28.00
(3-4 People Sharing) Captain Morgan's White Rum, Wray & Nephew Overproof Rum, Fresh Banana, Pineapple & Coconut.
Electric Iced Teapot £30.00
(3-4 People Sharing) Smirnoff Vodka, Gordon's Gin, Captain Morgan's White Rum, Triple Sec, Jose Cuervo Tequila, Melon Liqueur, Lemon Juice, Sugar Syrup & Lemonade.
Zombie Apocolypse £45.00
(4 people sharing) Havana Club 3 Year Rum, Bacardi Spiced Rum, Orange Liqueur, Apricot Brandy, Pineapple, Orange, Lime, Grenadine, Wray & Nephew Overproof Rum and an Absinthe Spray.
Amateur Pornstar £70
(6 People Sharing) Smirnoff Vanilla Vodka, Passionfruit Liqueur, Passionfruit Puree, Passionfruit Syrup, A Mini Bottle of Prosecco and a selection of cakes! Have you ever dreamed of building you're own pornstar? Just how you like them... with everything just how you like it... the touch... the feel... the sweet sweet taste... get your head out the gutter!
High Tequila £75
(6 People Sharing) Patron Silver Tequila, Orange liqueur, Lime Wedges, Mango & Strawberry Purees, Green Tabasco and a selection of delicious cakes. The practice of high tea began in the 19th century in Queen Victoria's court, consisting of warm tea, cheese, fruits and finger sandwiches. In 2024 Simmons Bars revolutionised this long-standing tradition by swapping it all out for tequila and cakes. Genius,
Shots
Brain Hemorrhage £5.50
Peach Schnapps, Baileys, Grenadine
Kiss From a Rose £5.50
Tequila Rose, Kahlua
B-52 £5.50
Kahlua, Baileys, Cointreau
Baby Guinness £5.50
Kahlua, Baileys
Jam Donut £5.50
Creme De Mure, Baileys
B-55 £5.50
Kahlua, Baileys, Absinthe
Birthday Blowjob £5.50
Tequila Rose, Squirty Cream
Reverse Cowboy £5.50
Butterscotch Schnapps, Baileys
Blowjob £5.50
Amaretto, Baileys, Squirty Cream
Mud Slide £5.50
Mozart Chocolate & Stole Salted Caramel
Pornstar Bomb £5.80
Passionfruit Liqueur, Prosecco
Skittle Bomb £5.80
Triple Sec, Energy Drink
JagerBomb £5.80
Jagermeister, Energy Drink
